i woke up early this morning and didn't exactly study. i knew my eyes couldn't look at any more textbook words. so i made a quick decision and stripped the ripened bananas in the bowl bare. i mushed the dark peeled banana family together all at once in less than five minutes and then mixed other ingredients together in a separate bowl. this time i kept the wheat flour inside the bag of the bag. no wheat flour spilled on the corner this time. i prepared the mixing and viola, my fresh crunchy moist vegan banana walnut bread was done in an hour's heating in the oven. just in time for me to cut a piece up and wrap neatly in the shape of a sandwich for emilio to try. i drove to school and walked straight to human nutrition and gave emilio my fresh banana walnut bread for bake tasting. he liked it.

after nutrition, i went to the cafeteria to browse on pinterest and finish reading pieces of you (which i eventually did finish). then aries from my human nutrition class came over slyly from the corners of my peripheral vision and asked to sit down and talk. so i took out my earbuds, and talked to this nice person i never had the decency to make a conversation with longer than three lines in class, and just talked in the cafeteria.

not long, i went to my physical anthropology class. today the professor went on and on about all the different main fossil she wanted us to remember. with the different codes and nicknames of the fossils, she lost me the moment i walked in from yesterday's class. i didn't do so well on the quiz at the end of the period, but i did my best.

i came home to my newly painted white jasmine room. it looks fresh like white cucumber peel. but it's called white jasmine.

i ate dinner, skipped my daily run, and read 10 pages of norwegian wood. i'm deeply lost into murakami's words. the first paragraph of the first page had me flipping onto the next. i guess i am in the mood because his writing actually captures a reader's interest on first base. the way he describes each event and little bit of movement keeps a mysterious sense in the air that takes the reader deep in between the lines.

i'm trying to be honest with myself each day. it's a really difficult task to help others with their dilemmas when you cannot help but find the reason to why you are constantly falling in to a rut yourself. you drown in a sea of denial, but sometimes you just have to pick yourself up because no one else is going to do it for you. you may be the one to always offer yourself as comfort food for your friend, but the truth is sometimes no one will act as comfort food for you. so in that scenario, we are on the same boat and we have to get through this by trying something different each day, living without expectations, and realizing what we still have in our lives. by trying something new, it could be something as minute as listening to a specific song while taking a nice long stroll to class. if that one thing can lift your mood in that particular moment, then why not? a simple tune can suddenly change a mood for a split second. music often has that magical savior ability.  and you have the choice, you could live without expectations. when you have nothing to expect for, you won't be disappointed. that's what they all say. seems to work for me. days are still passing and i remind myself that i'm going to have to get through each day no matter what. there's no rewind on the clock or in life. you either choose to live it for yourself, for others, or for both yourself and others when you are ready and want to. at the end of the day, i force myself to remember how fortunate i am and what i have in front of me. i have a roof to live under, i have hot water for warm tea to sip on, a good book to look forward to, and more. simple things. i need to be satisfied not just physically, but mentally as well. it'll just take some more time. 


we all wish that some things can be made simpler. well, things are already simple, are they not? people just like to make things complicated and twist and turn things around. nature happens, doesn't it?