i swear, i didn't mean it was what i kept repeating

six hours ago, i got into a (supposedly semi-minor, but major in my head) car accident. this is what happened: i was driving all around steven creeks blvd and on the way back home, not even close back home, while on one of the one-way streets, i almost ran over a 7-year-old little girl.  i was following the speed limit, and i didn't notice three things:  1. there was a crosswalk with faint lines drawn on the floor 2. the man next to me was waving at me to stop 3. four people were trying to walk across. there was no stop sign and i did not see the man's signal or the people in my peripheral vision. i stepped on the brake pedal immediately,  hurriedly turned off my engine, and hopped out of the car in panic mode. the man in the truck next to me got out of his car and yelled angrily and screamed, "didn't you see me waving at you to stop?" my heart was pounding and the little girl was crying a lot. her mom scooped her up and yelled, "take my daughter to the hospital NOW." the man offered to drive her to the hospital right away. the two other people behind were grade school girls and their mom told them to hop in my car to follow the truck to the hospital. we lost the truck and i panicked even more and asked them to call their mom. their mom told me to drive them back to their house which was literally in the same area, same block. i looped around the block, and on the way to their house, i kept apologizing and telling them that i am not a bad person and that there was just no stop sign and that i should have been more aware of all of my surroundings and that i didn't mean it. when i got to their house, the kids' brother and uncle came out and everyone was calling everyone. i called my brother and he was at work, i called jennifer, my dad, and no one picked up. in that moment, it was like i didn't know how to breathe. i was so terrified and hoping that the little girl was being helped in the emergency room with whatever injuries i had caused her. i was unclear of things and tears just kept running down my face. finally, my dad picked up and he said he was on his way to the house and told me to calm down and that everything was going to be okay. the kids' uncle had already driven to the hospital and he came back saying that she was being helped. the police came and i told them exactly what had happened from detail to detail. the policeman seemed to be understanding and told me that last week, the exact situation happened at the exact same spot with a four-year-old girl who had actually been severely injured. then, the man who took the girl to the hospital walked back from the hospital because apparently the hospital was only five minutes away, and he apologized for yelling at me and how he didn't mean to and how he knew how sudden it was that they stepped onto the crosswalk and that i was lucky that the little girl had just got the side of her left foot sraped a bit. so there were no major injuries and i did not actually run her entire little body over at all. he put his hand on my shoulder and as the witness, he worded it to the second policeman in the most honest harmless statements of what had happened at exactly 5:00 pm. after the paper work and recorded information, i was still not at ease and not entirely relieved. i couldn't bring myself to words. i was still trying to wipe off the waterfall on my face as i was explaining to the insurance company about what had happened. everything is supposed to be okay now because the insurance is going to cover me and that the girl is not majorly injured. so i didn't get my license taken away; i wasn't going to be asked to attend a court session; i was not going to jail. as i hopped into the backseat of my car, my dad started the engine and i looked out the window and saw the entire family staring back at me. i could tell that they were still worried to no ends and they could tell that i was speechless by their expressions. on the way back home, i was silent the entire way. once i got back home, i closed the door and sat still against my door for about two hours straight replaying the entire scenario over and over again. after a long time, i opened the door and went out to the kitchen. jennifer made me lentil wraps. then i realized i hadn't eaten the entire day- from picking up my laptop in the morning to visiting different antique and thrift shops in different areas, i was too carried away with so many unneccessary things on my mind as usual that i didn't even bother stopping anywhere for a bite to eat. this accident was indeed my fault because i should have been more cautious driving down unfamiliar roads and yielding at crosswalks with no stop signs. this is what car booklets and pamphlets mean when they emphasize numerous times to be aware of all surroundings at all times, because serious accidents could happen. for the past few hours, i've been doing nothing but continuing the scenario of what had happened or could have happened at that very crosswalk. if one more second passed and i didn't step on the brakes immediately, i would have been the reason for taking away that 7-year-old little girl's life. the whole scenario was terrifying and the sound of my car tires screeching so loudly is still haunting me at this hour. my heart is still pumping as i am typing this now, but this is the story of my first car accident.